Well, I guess I can safely say… I did not hit the jackpot while gambling but I did win $100. Much fun was had by all, I think, though, and the casino was nice, despite the smoke. (I mean, there were people on oxygen inside playing the slots! With people smoking right next to them!!) So the $100 will go into the Truck Fund, and increase it a little more.

But I think Mom had a nice birthday. We even went out to eat (all of us, including Ethan) for her birthday, and then came back and let her see the presents. (Since no one remembered to wrap them. *g*)

I brought home tomatoes, corn, green beans, and peppers. Yum. Right at the moment, I’m trying to decide what to make for supper. And then I will write.

Auctions will be posted tomorrow.

I’m back.

Well, I’ve been back for a couple of hours, but I took a two hour nap because I was so tired from last night.

Last night was spend the night with Bekah, Matt, and Ethan night. He only woke up three times (? I think) and so it wasn’t that bad, but I was rather tired after driving for two hours afterwards. I fell off-balance. *g*

But he’s soooooo cute. Yes, I say that again. So cute. He slept on me for about an hour and a half this morning, too.

It sure doesn’t feel like I was gone for almost three days. Other than spam, I had very little email to answer.

And so, the grand total was $14 and some change. I ended up with two short sleeved shirts (one blue and one green) badly needed, for work, and some bath gel. Also some bubble bath for Mom for her birthday. I didn’t get her the book (Tom Clancy’s new one) because I’ve seen it for $15, and it was $20 at Target, and I’m cheap. (And broke, but hey.)

I also got my hair cut. It looks nice. But I’m noticing, and really noticing, that I’m only gray in the front. I really do have stripes. The back is brown. Weird! If I cut bangs, they would be gray. And the rest of my hair would be brown. Oh well. I’m still not going to color it anymore. I’m just going to go through the rest of my life looking weird. Just how I like it.

Oh, Ethan is a cutey-pie. He didn’t mind going shopping with us, and he definitely didn’t mind being held or sleeping most of the time. He was soooo good. I was duly impressed. And Bekah was happy to go shopping for herself for the first time since he was born. He is four weeks old today! (And he weighs nine pounds and some ounces. Considering a gallon of milk weighs eight pounds, imagine carrying around one of those for a couple of hours and then tell me if your arm hurts. But he was an angel. And I get to spend the night at Bekah’s tomorrow night, too.

Okay, I’m off to write for a bit, I think, since I was so lax last night. I had Jessica murder my back last night as well, and it actually feels better today. (Hmm. Now that I think of it, I might just go pick and eat some tomatoes first…)

Zoey and I are sitting at the computer right now (Okay, she just walked out because I’m not petting her adequately enough…) But anyway.

Today I halfway got roped into going to Target and TJ Maxx with Jessica, Rachel, Bekah, and Ethan. It was just going to be Jess and Rachel (Jess’ friend) at first, and then Mom said Bekah might want to go too. So I called her and invited her and my favorite (and only) nephew. Yay. *g*

Didn’t get anything written yesterday. I read The Tenth Ghost instead, and honestly? It’s not as bad as I thought it was. It’s been a while since I’ve read that book, and I thought it was chock full of continuity mistakes, but actually there are only a handful. (Meaning, things are going to change as the series progresses, but hey, there’s always revised versions, right?)

So I woke up early (7:30am!) this morning, and I think I might try to get some writing done before we head off to the stores. After that, I have a hair appointment to chop off some more of the color (I’m growing it out, remember?) and then… nothing. I can pick tomatoes, stem grapes… write…

Tomorrow Mom, Dad, and I are going to the casino. I will report here if I win big.

Wordcounts will not be updated until I get back to Columbus, since I have no wordcount on the Visor. *sigh* But anyway.

Hey! I’m in Bethel, in the room with a hundred clocks as usual. I’ve been watching indy movies with Dad for most of the evening. And drooling over the paperback of The Tenth Ghost. Lovely, lovely. I am so happy to see it.

Anyway, just thought I’d update. I might get some writing done tonight still; we shall see.

Due to the fact that I had to be on the phone for two hours this morning trying to get roadrunner to work again, I managed to get all but two things done on my list of things to do before I leave. Two!! So when I get home from work, I have to go to the PO (everything’s all packed up and ready to go) and put away the dishes. That’s it! Wow. I even got the laundry folded. Of course, I was late to work, but I have personal time for that.

So I will be off to Bethel this evening. I will be back in Columbus Saturday, probably early afternoon, and then I don’t have to go back to work until Monday. Joy of joys. And I’m going to get my hair cut (shorter) and see Ethan (and spend Friday night with Bekah, too!) and go to the casino (thus allowing karma to pay me back (hint, hint) and pick tomatoes and maybe beans… and write. Of course.

The idea is for me to load up my truck with stuff to sell, but I’m going to have to go through the boxes first, I think. So look for more auctions Saturday evening, Sunday, and Monday.

I’m actually feeling pretty good right now; I hope it lasts.

An excerpt from Fire and Water, Chapter 35:

Malachi closed his sightless eyes. “You have changed.”

“Yes. We all have.”

“No. We change with you.” The ghost of an old hurt echoed in Malachi’s voice.

Gabriel hesitated. “Malachi…” The thought had been hiding in the back of his mind for months now. With the Council’s binding gone and after Eri’s birth, the specter of the Wild Hunt no longer loomed so strongly in his mind. “Malachi, what would you do if you weren’t a Hound?”

“I can walk,” Malachi snarled, twisting out of his arms. “Put me down.”

Gabriel lowered him to the ground. He felt no sense of Stefan yet, and he wanted to gauge Malachi’s reaction to the question before he posed it to the others.

Malachi stood, using a nearby tree for support. His breath hissed out from between clenched teeth. Gabriel stepped forward, concerned, but Malachi waved him away.

“You don’t know what you ask,” he finally whispered, his voice rough.

“Yes, I think I do.” Gabriel deliberately closed the bond between them, leaving Malachi alone with his thoughts. “You are not some… disposable thing for me to use at my pleasure, Malachi.”

Malachi’s shoulders shook. “We used to be.”

“Yes. I know.” The dark memories pained him, but he could not wipe away the past. “But what was once accepted might not be…”

“Do you realize what you ask?” Malachi covered his scarred face with one hand. “My lord…”

“Answer me freely, Malachi. I will not lose my temper.” Gabriel held his hands loosely by his side, ready to catch Malachi should he fall.

Malachi rested his forehead on the tree trunk. “Once I… I wondered what life would be like outside the Hunt.”

“And?”

“And Stefan almost got me killed for believing he could free me from the Hunt. After that, I did not wonder anymore.” He sighed. “I didn’t have to think, as a Hound.”

Nathaniel had said something similar to Lucas in the Council library.

“And now?” Gabriel asked. “Now that you’ve lived through the binding and now that the Hunt is free…”

“If I live through this…” Malachi raised his head and carefully turned around. “If we live through this, then ask me later and I will give you an honest answer.” He did not need to brush his hair out of his eyes, and the realization pained Gabriel’s heart.

“I will ensure Stefan is punished for what he did to you,” Gabriel whispered, and tucked the errant strand of hair behind his Hound’s ear.

Malachi shivered at his touch and closed his eyes. “I have no doubt you will.”

Copyright 2002 Jennifer St. Clair

No, really. What would you do?

What would you do if you were a horrible person in the past, but had truly reformed. And someone from your past returns to punish you for your previous crimes, both true and imagined.

Even though you’ve reformed, and are now trying your best to be a totally different person, you still feel the call of chaos; still have unresolved issues from the time before. And you now have a family that you love, and a daughter whom you adore.

But do you deserve all of this goodness? Don’t you deserve to be punished for what you did in the past? Who can absolve you from your crimes? Who can lay the past to rest? Will it ever be laid to rest, or will it follow you for the rest of eternity, a constant shadow on your soul?

I got up really early this morning, checked my email, read my daily blogs, made breakfast, and opened up F&W. There may be something to this getting up an hour early concept. I might actually finish this darn chapter before I have to go to work. And I can’t think of a single thing that would be nicer than to get to write before I go in for the day.

Of course, come three pm, I might be drooping over my desk, but we shall see. At the moment, I think I might get away with it. I’m not sure I could do this every single morning, but I guess I’ll find out.

(Every morning one of my neighbors leaves the house at 5am. The sound of him slamming his door wakes me up most mornings. Sometimes I can go back to sleep, but most of the time, I drift, half-asleep, for another hour until I drag myself out of bed. This morning, I just decided I might as well get up.)

But anyway. I didn’t dream at all last night, at least nothing I could remember. I’m rather surprised, considering my house hunt and all.